“open” heart surgery
I woke at 7am with the song lyrics: “So take me back, back to the beginning. When I was young, running through the fields with you…”
The song instantly took me back to giving my life to Jesus when I was a tiny girl and the feelings I had of utter joy, total peace and unmistakable love. It felt like home. Jesus felt like love.
Recently I’ve had a revelation that my heart has been locked up for quite some time (read that as years, possibly almost forever). Unable to receive love from God and utterly unable to really love myself; to really understand self care. This has caused me to work hard, push through more when really I should have rested. Get on with things when I should have stopped and rested, as I was being asked to by God. Five months of being ill and unable to do anything much, apart from slow down to a standstill and rest, I’m finally in a place where God can do some open heart surgery with me. Literally, He’s opening up my heart so I can receive His love. Jesus is determined to breach the dam around my heart and pour into me a love that He’s always been pouring out to me.
I wonder if that’s the case for some of you too? Do you need to have “open heart” surgery? To be able to receive, with simple childlike faith. The love of a child is pure, uncomplicated, simple. Jesus’s love is pure, uncomplicated, simple. Love has already taken over you, perhaps it’s now encouraging you to let it in?
Our hearts need to be open, available to receive, otherwise we fall into works, striving and definitely not receiving. How can we rest with Abba when we fear we might not be good enough? As Eric Gilmour says, “Rest is the realm of reception”